[Hermes had been agonizing over sending such a message for, well, days now, so much so he's barely gotten any sleep. Eventually he caves, writing a small letter, short and to the point, handing it to Caduceus to deliver. It isn't an apology - no that will come in person - but a request to see Emet-Selch.
Will you meet with me?
His faithful messenger slithers his way to where Emet-Selch resides, knocking on the door with his tail. When it's answered he'll offer the envelope in his mouth. It must be important - after all his master seemed so concerned that it be delivered quickly and safely.]
[ When Emet-Selch opens the door and sees a little snake there of all things, his first instinct is to squint his eyes, brow knit in irritation. What in Zodiark's name- ]
What's that you have there?
[ He takes the envelope, tearing it open for the message inside. He will grant Hermes a single point, and that is that he isn't forcing his snake to say whatever it is he wants to say to him.
He still sighs heavily, some of it directed at the Hermes situation and some of it because he's simply tired from his own nightmare ordeal. ]
Very well, you may tell your master that I will. [ He scribbles it down for Caduceus to deliver with a pen he grabs out of nowhere. He's not sure how else the little familiar is going to get the message across so... just in case. ]
[Happy to take the message back to his master, Caduceus slithers away when handed the reply. It doesn't take long for Hermes to show up at Emet-Selch's apartment door, eyes sunken and dark. The Overseer is clearly nervous as he stands waiting for the other man to answer, willing himself not to fidget. Emet-Selch had always been intimidating. After he'd quite literally beaten his ass in the park...even more so.
[ Emet-Selch always looks a bit tired, and today is no exception. He's not even had the energy to maintain a different appearance. He'd like to just go take a century's long nap or so though that isn't really an option.
So he just stares across at Hermes once he opens the door for him, wondering what the man has come here to say. To argue, to apologize? He can't be sure anymore. ]
[He certainly hasn't come to argue, oh no. His reason for being here is the opposite - it's to apologize and grovel if he needs to. It's obvious from the way Hermes holds himself that he's nervous but how could he not be? Emet-Selch had beat his ass (which had been warranted). It had been a stern reminder of his place.
Nodding silently he follows him back into the apartment.]
[But it's not fine. Nothing is fine and Hermes is most certainly not fine.]
I understand. I will not keep your ear long then.
[He swallows. If only he could disappear to the star right now he might just make that choice. He really has ruined everything, hasn't he? Hipping his head low he bends in a bow, hands pressed together in prayer as he braces himself to plead for forgiveness.]
...I fully understand if you want nothing to do with me after what happened in the park. I cannot excuse the way I reacted and so I will not waste your time attempting to do so. My judgement was clouded and I made a choice fueled by panic and desperation, not logic. What I did was wrong and I should not have done it in any circumstance.
[He swallows again, head hanging even lower.]
I do not know how to apologize to you Hades, as mere words seem cheap, but I wish to say sorry all the same. I would ask for your forgiveness but I feel I do not deserve it.
[He feels he doesn't deserve much of anything anymore these days.]
So I will not ask for it...but I thank you for at the very least meeting with me.
[ He nods, wandering deeper into the apartment where he can take a seat. His wound still bothers him, if not physically then psychologically. Of course it could be healed good as new no doubt, but he isn't sure he deserves that, and he certainly isn't going to ask it of Hythlodaeus.
He partly suspected that Hermes would ask for forgiveness. He's soft, and Emet-Selch recognizes soft. His mind reels slowly through various responses he can give, but he allows Hermes to finish speaking as he wishes. ]
It is Hythlodaeus you hurt more than me. We are both fond of you, you know that.
[ He shakes his head. It had been disappointing to say the least. Not the end of the world, though. Not this time, anyway. Only the real Meteion is capable of sparking that, apparently. ]
Yes, I was angry. But to stay angry ... that would only be hypocritical of me.
[ He sighs deeply. ] So your plea is unnecessary. I will not say your actions were not foolish and stupid, but I do forgive you.
[He cannot help but exhale at the acceptance of his apology, visibly deflating. It's hard not to, the edges of his eyes pricking with tears. Hythlodaeus had been so biting when he had delivered his apology to him he still wasn't sure if things would ever be truly okay again. Even now, with Emet-Selch saying he's forgiven...he probably would not trust him again soon.
Which hurts to think about, but it's simply something he has to accept if it is the case. ]
Thank you, deeply. Truly...I... [He swallows quietly, gripping the front of his shirt to keep his fingers from shaking.] I am fond of you both as well. You are my friends, my only remaining tie to our home and I would not wish to squander our friendship. To know I acted the way I did and caused such distress is unacceptable.
[ Hythlodaeus deserved to be biting. Emet-Selch is always biting, on the other hand, and he simply doesn't have the strength to put in any extra effort at the moment. Besides, Hythlodaeus is the one that was hurt more by that unfortunate display in front of the false Meteion. ]
Truthfully I did not expect you to accept your error so quickly, back then. [ He fully expected an all out fight, similar to what they had gone through in Elpis. ] I know your distress over seeing Meteion's face was great.
[ And he sighs again. Because he understands now, and he hates that he does. ]
But know that while I tolerate the longing gazes you give to Hythlodaeus, if you ever attempt to harm him in any way again, I will protect him by any means necessary.
[His distress was something he cannot even put into words. Coping with the knowledge of the end of their world hasn't gone well for him and seeing anything that remotely resembled his most precious creation had sent him over the edge all too quickly. He regrets it now, deeply. Even then in the moment once he'd realized what he'd done he had begun to curse himself.
Emet-Selch's next set of words have him feel even more uncomfortable as he worries a wrist with one of his hands absentmindedly.]
...I do not wish to get in the way of you both.
[He's not so blind that he doesn't realize the two of them are practically soulmates. That said...he understands what Emet-Selch is getting at. He dips his head low.]
If I make such a foolish mistake I rather you kill me.
Do not test the limits of my tolerance. For your own sake.
[ He does not want to see Hermes hurt, much as the other might find that hard to believe.
But that aside, he nods his head, sitting back a little. ]
I would never want to kill one of my own. Not even if there was no other choice. [ He sighs a little, almost as though he's not even talking to Hermes anymore. ] For him though, I would.
[ He does turn back though finally. ]
Never underestimate what I would do to protect those I love. For my people and my star. I will be first to fight for you, Hermes. No one else! Not even Hythlodaeus, and certainly not some nightmare.
[There's something moving about Emet-Selch declaring that, despite his conviction that he would never wish to kill one of his own people, for Hythlodaeus he would make an exception. It's hard to not feel a twinge of jealousy in that moment. To be loved such an incredible amount...just what would that be like?
But then Emet-Selch goes on to declare that he would be the first to fight for him and it catches him off guard, if the look of shock on Hermes' face is anything to go by. No one has ever cared so much about him. Not to go so far...]
I...I cannot help but be speechless... [His throat is tight. Ah, he really doesn't want to start crying right now...] I will never doubt your words...thank you.
[ Emet-Selch simmers between some deep buried anger within him and his strong feelings of love and protectiveness toward his kin. Yes, no one can possibly understand all that he has been through for them, all that he would continue to go through if he had the chance. It is absolutely not fair that they still lost despite all this, but at least if he can get someone like Hermes to remember, that takes some of the sting away. ]
Good.
[ He settles back a little, still tired but also more satisfied than when this conversation began. ]
I've already told you, you don't believe in your own worth. But while you have always been worthy to me as a keeper of our star and a fellow member of the Convocation of Fourteen ... now I know with certainty as a friend, as well.
[ Despite everything, in fact, which really only makes it all hurt more if one thinks too deeply about it. So he won't. Not right now, at least. ]
Emet-Selch had always been known as a wordsmith and a great debater, so it should come as no surprise that he's able to move men to tears with his choice of words. At least, he's moved Hermes to tears. Swallowing quietly he rubs at his eyes, unable to help how wet they've become, his voice barely above that of a whisper.]
Oh Hades...for you to consider me as such...
[It's an honour. He wants to say as much but he can't get it out. For someone to have such faith in him is overwhelming, especially after how he'd acted.]
[ Emet-Selch sneers but mostly because he's trying not to let Hermes' emotions become contagious. He is the softie of the Unsundered, after all. ]
Oh, Hermes. [ He sighs deeply, simultaneously fond of the anxious, emotional man in front of him and a bit devastated that he's fond when he knows exactly what Hermes becomes. Such a terrible dichotomy they can do nothing about. ] Why do you think I am so hard on you? It is because of your importance to me.
[ And to their Star, but he knows that the Community Duty is not really what Hermes is reaching to feel at the moment. Emet-Selch lifts his arms a little bit. ]
[It's a strange thing, being told that he's important. Never did he consider himself to be and yet he'd found himself with more and more responsibility as the years passed. When Emet-Selch opens his arms he's astounded, frozen in place as he processes what he's being welcomed to do.
When it finally registers he shuffles over toward his friend, wrapping his arms around him in a tight embrace. Now that he's got a hold of him he'll be loathe to let go.]
[ He allows Hermes his time to process what's going on here, even if he does feel a pang of impatience as he just sits there with his arms extended. But when Hermes does finally come into them, he closes them around him in an embrace, holding him closely and meaningfully almost like that day in the love hotel they visited together.
He knows more than anyone what not wanting to let go truly feels like.
It's part of why he can welcome Hermes back to his side so easily again. Had he not spent countless years without his friends and loved ones? And no, Fandaniel as a shard raised into his former seat was not and will never be enough. Nothing compares to this, what he's got in his arms right now. ]
[He nods quietly against him, shoulders shaking as he does his best to quell the tremors that have gripped him. Being held like this is a relief he cannot even begin to put into words.]
[As he exhales against the other man he finds himself beginning to still and calm, relieved that Emet-Selch is granting him forgiveness and with such grace.
He doesn't deserve it, but he's happy to receive it regardless.]
[Relief. He's beginning to feel it as he deflates against the other man, simply enjoying his presence and the embrace. Quietly he swears he'll do what he's told, or at least make a good attempt to do so. When he does finally pull back it's enough to look into Emet-Selch's eyes, yearning present in his own as he meets his gaze.]
I am glad to be. Truly. If there is something I can do to atone...
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Will you meet with me?
His faithful messenger slithers his way to where Emet-Selch resides, knocking on the door with his tail. When it's answered he'll offer the envelope in his mouth. It must be important - after all his master seemed so concerned that it be delivered quickly and safely.]
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What's that you have there?
[ He takes the envelope, tearing it open for the message inside. He will grant Hermes a single point, and that is that he isn't forcing his snake to say whatever it is he wants to say to him.
He still sighs heavily, some of it directed at the Hermes situation and some of it because he's simply tired from his own nightmare ordeal. ]
Very well, you may tell your master that I will. [ He scribbles it down for Caduceus to deliver with a pen he grabs out of nowhere. He's not sure how else the little familiar is going to get the message across so... just in case. ]
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What a mess.]
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So he just stares across at Hermes once he opens the door for him, wondering what the man has come here to say. To argue, to apologize? He can't be sure anymore. ]
Well, come in Hermes.
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Nodding silently he follows him back into the apartment.]
Thank you for agreeing to meet with me...
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[ He was angry, he's not a barbarian. Hermes is still his friend and peer, even though he's an utter fool who can barely be trusted.
It's fine. ]
I'm a bit tired, so what have you come for?
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I understand. I will not keep your ear long then.
[He swallows. If only he could disappear to the star right now he might just make that choice. He really has ruined everything, hasn't he? Hipping his head low he bends in a bow, hands pressed together in prayer as he braces himself to plead for forgiveness.]
...I fully understand if you want nothing to do with me after what happened in the park. I cannot excuse the way I reacted and so I will not waste your time attempting to do so. My judgement was clouded and I made a choice fueled by panic and desperation, not logic. What I did was wrong and I should not have done it in any circumstance.
[He swallows again, head hanging even lower.]
I do not know how to apologize to you Hades, as mere words seem cheap, but I wish to say sorry all the same. I would ask for your forgiveness but I feel I do not deserve it.
[He feels he doesn't deserve much of anything anymore these days.]
So I will not ask for it...but I thank you for at the very least meeting with me.
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He partly suspected that Hermes would ask for forgiveness. He's soft, and Emet-Selch recognizes soft. His mind reels slowly through various responses he can give, but he allows Hermes to finish speaking as he wishes. ]
It is Hythlodaeus you hurt more than me. We are both fond of you, you know that.
[ He shakes his head. It had been disappointing to say the least. Not the end of the world, though. Not this time, anyway. Only the real Meteion is capable of sparking that, apparently. ]
Yes, I was angry. But to stay angry ... that would only be hypocritical of me.
[ He sighs deeply. ] So your plea is unnecessary. I will not say your actions were not foolish and stupid, but I do forgive you.
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Which hurts to think about, but it's simply something he has to accept if it is the case. ]
Thank you, deeply. Truly...I... [He swallows quietly, gripping the front of his shirt to keep his fingers from shaking.] I am fond of you both as well. You are my friends, my only remaining tie to our home and I would not wish to squander our friendship. To know I acted the way I did and caused such distress is unacceptable.
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Truthfully I did not expect you to accept your error so quickly, back then. [ He fully expected an all out fight, similar to what they had gone through in Elpis. ] I know your distress over seeing Meteion's face was great.
[ And he sighs again. Because he understands now, and he hates that he does. ]
But know that while I tolerate the longing gazes you give to Hythlodaeus, if you ever attempt to harm him in any way again, I will protect him by any means necessary.
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Emet-Selch's next set of words have him feel even more uncomfortable as he worries a wrist with one of his hands absentmindedly.]
...I do not wish to get in the way of you both.
[He's not so blind that he doesn't realize the two of them are practically soulmates. That said...he understands what Emet-Selch is getting at. He dips his head low.]
If I make such a foolish mistake I rather you kill me.
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[ He does not want to see Hermes hurt, much as the other might find that hard to believe.
But that aside, he nods his head, sitting back a little. ]
I would never want to kill one of my own. Not even if there was no other choice. [ He sighs a little, almost as though he's not even talking to Hermes anymore. ] For him though, I would.
[ He does turn back though finally. ]
Never underestimate what I would do to protect those I love. For my people and my star. I will be first to fight for you, Hermes. No one else! Not even Hythlodaeus, and certainly not some nightmare.
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But then Emet-Selch goes on to declare that he would be the first to fight for him and it catches him off guard, if the look of shock on Hermes' face is anything to go by. No one has ever cared so much about him. Not to go so far...]
I...I cannot help but be speechless... [His throat is tight. Ah, he really doesn't want to start crying right now...] I will never doubt your words...thank you.
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Good.
[ He settles back a little, still tired but also more satisfied than when this conversation began. ]
I've already told you, you don't believe in your own worth. But while you have always been worthy to me as a keeper of our star and a fellow member of the Convocation of Fourteen ... now I know with certainty as a friend, as well.
[ Despite everything, in fact, which really only makes it all hurt more if one thinks too deeply about it. So he won't. Not right now, at least. ]
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Emet-Selch had always been known as a wordsmith and a great debater, so it should come as no surprise that he's able to move men to tears with his choice of words. At least, he's moved Hermes to tears. Swallowing quietly he rubs at his eyes, unable to help how wet they've become, his voice barely above that of a whisper.]
Oh Hades...for you to consider me as such...
[It's an honour. He wants to say as much but he can't get it out. For someone to have such faith in him is overwhelming, especially after how he'd acted.]
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Oh, Hermes. [ He sighs deeply, simultaneously fond of the anxious, emotional man in front of him and a bit devastated that he's fond when he knows exactly what Hermes becomes. Such a terrible dichotomy they can do nothing about. ] Why do you think I am so hard on you? It is because of your importance to me.
[ And to their Star, but he knows that the Community Duty is not really what Hermes is reaching to feel at the moment. Emet-Selch lifts his arms a little bit. ]
Come here.
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When it finally registers he shuffles over toward his friend, wrapping his arms around him in a tight embrace. Now that he's got a hold of him he'll be loathe to let go.]
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He knows more than anyone what not wanting to let go truly feels like.
It's part of why he can welcome Hermes back to his side so easily again. Had he not spent countless years without his friends and loved ones? And no, Fandaniel as a shard raised into his former seat was not and will never be enough. Nothing compares to this, what he's got in his arms right now. ]
You must stop doubting yourself, and me.
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I will never doubt you henceforth, I promise...
[Doubting himself though? Well, he'll try.]
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And well. As long as he tries with himself, Emet-Selch supposes that's all he can ask for for now. ]
Good.
[ He answers, gently smoothing a hand against Hermes' back. ]
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He doesn't deserve it, but he's happy to receive it regardless.]
Thank you...
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There is no need to thank me, just do as I've said.
[ His hand continues to gently soothe, glad to see that Hermes is coming down at least a little bit from his crippling emotions. ]
It's good to have you back, Hermes.
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I am glad to be. Truly. If there is something I can do to atone...
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[ He isn't certain what Hermes would even have in mind anyway. Rather, shouldn't they just move on? ]
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[His hands settle on Hades' shoulders as he averts his gaze.]
Mayhap I could make you feel good...
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